So, as most of you may know, I happen to be going through what may be the most arduous situation I’ve never thought I would have to face in my life. I’m going to be as blunt as possible, as I feel the need to vent, however, I don’t feel the need to put in detail my issues out on the interwebs. I’ll start out by describing myself a little…
I’m a joker, I love to joke around, talk shit, but its all in fun and games. As some of you might call it being an asshole, those w/ the same sense of humor as myself know very well that its nothing more than playful banter.
I have a sharp tongue. Often times, if I’m comfortable around the people I’m with, I can be blunt. I don’t set out to “hurt people” per say, but, if its something that needs to be said, please rest assured, I’m more than happy to point it out. That being said, I do still have a filter and try my best to spare the feelings of others.
I’m quick to respond. Whether it be situational, or argumentative, I’m quick with my actions / reflexes, and quick with my words. Sometimes, I would have to say, my reflexes act faster than my mind is able to make situational computations. This can be good, or bad. However, when it comes to speaking, or when getting into arguments, I try my best to wait my turn, but, be advised, when it is my turn, I become the fastest rapper alive. (LoL)
I am a hopeless romantic. Always have been, and probably always will be. I would have to say, its a fortitude and a flaw… “Romantic” is its positive(+) as “Hopeless” would be its negative(-).
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I do, and as a man, yes, it makes me feel imbecilic. We’ve been programmed to think that men should be just that, men. I have my qualities as a man, but being a hopeless romantic who wears his heart on his sleeve, my emotions may sometimes also make an appearance. If you look at me, you may think I’m tough, and I’m an asshole, I may appear to be a douche at times as well. But if you bothered to get to know me, you’d know that I’m a father of 2 beautiful children, that I love very much. Every day I’ve tried to make it my mission to teach and help them grow to better themselves for the life they have ahead of them. Whether it be a lesson for tomorrow, or a lesson for the distant future. I love, and show it, I hurt (try to hide it my best) but it’ll still show, I’ll laugh when I’m happy, and cry when I’m dejected. My pain is my weakness, and my weakness is my pain.
I’m responsible. Call me boring, call me a “Party pooper” whatever, it doesn’t bother me. Because at the end of the day, I know I have my shit together where most others don’t. I’m calculating, when it comes to bills and expenses, and if I do have money left over, I would much rather put it to the side to help pay off more bills later, than to blow it on a couple hours of fun. I’m a “home-body” as some would call it. I don’t need to go out clubbing to dance or listen to music, nor to drink. I have a fridge full of beer at home, and a decent home theater system. I’d rather stay in and watch movies over a home-cooked meal, while spending time with the ones I love, than to go out on the town. I like to take random night drives, just pack in the car, and go. Enjoy the company of those I feel I need around me, enjoy the cool desert nights, and the night Vegas lights. Don’t get me wrong, once in a while, when the reflection of the sun hits the moon just right, the humidity, and ambient air temperature are just perfect. I’ll go out and have fun (LoL). But like I said. I’m more of an introvert. I came to be this way when the “real world” came down on me real fast after I left my parent’s house at 18. At the time, I had someone depending on me, and I wanted to show them, that they could. BUT in that aspect of my life, that may have been one of my biggest mistakes.
I think we’ll stop there for now, lets just call this “Part One”.
-kayeXe