The previous few posts, I’ve talked about escaping my disheartened reality through sleep. Truth of the matter is, lately, when I sleep, I don’t dream. I’d rather have it this way. Just an abyss of emptiness in which to bide my time. However, the past couple nights have been hellish. I’ve awoken to a pounding heart, heavy breaths, nervousness, anger, bitterness… The past few nights, my dreams have been as daunting, if not worse, than my reality…  It’ll start off as a normal “dream” any other normal day… when I was “happy”; together with my family… Then out of no where, the “current situation” will reveal itself, in creative new ways… In the dream, I’ll feel the same emotions I felt as if it was the first time. I’ll feel the pain inside, the drop in my chest, the rush of adrenaline, my mind will start racing. When my mind starts racing I’ll wake up in a panic, fearful to attempt going back to sleep… My “Happy Place” has been invaded. My escape route cut off… This situation is truly now all consuming. I’ve lost control, and I feel as if I’m losing myself as well…