Day to day, I think I do pretty well… I have my good days. Days I’m able to get up, shower, get ready for work, and proceed throughout my day with no issues. Some days, I’ll have to get through with lingering thoughts in the back of my mind. None-the-less it doesn’t bother me too much.. But then, I’ll have days like today. They start off normal, but somewhere down the line it’ll feel like a heavy weight just fell upon my psyche. My mood will slowly deteriorate, and I’ll fall into a state of depression. From depression, irritation and anxiety almost always follow suit. Then, I’ll lose myself. Lose myself in my thoughts, my body will go into auto-pilot as I continue the motions of a normal day. But inside, I’m being consumed. Have you ever sat, and watched a caterpillar eat a leaf? It slowly devours it at a steady pace until its full.. or finished. That’s how I imagine what’s going on inside when I fall into this state of being. I imagine it as there being a bright light inside of me. and slowly by slowly its being over taken by darkness. until there is a glimmer of hope, a shimmer of light left. And of course, I get the pleasure of watching it burn out in front of me. The only way to supersede these feelings, is to shut myself away, to sleep. Sometimes, when I awake, I feel better. Other times, I wake up, only to close my eyes again, and hope to sleep forever. At this point, its just really hard to keep a smile on my face.  I wish today would hasten, I sit here writing the post as a means to vent, and hopefully slow down this all consuming darkness inside. Biding my time, until I can make it home to sleep… Otherwise, I just feel,

Lost…