It’s been raining for the better part of the day now…
I love the smell of fresh rain… I love hearing the pitter patter of raindrops on the roof.
The sound of gushing water flowing down the street… the serenity of the atmosphere…
the sense of calm, as if to wash away the past.

I had a bad feeling about today since this morning, as the clouds started to roll in, I was excited.
But at the same time, I felt it as a bad omen for some reason…
Throughout the day as I tried to enjoy the rain, I became progressively lonelier, progressively irritated…

Every time it would rain, the kids would get so excited, we’d all end up running around the yard
getting soaking wet, laughing and playing… then we’d come inside and shower, watch a movie.. and just be together…
Cold rainy nights make the best cuddle weather… I was enjoying the rain at first.
That was until I realized it… I’m home, alone, listening to the rain by myself…
Sitting in my garage by myself.. watching the rain fall by myself… watching the water rush down the
street by myself… no kids to run around and chase in the rain, no laughter, no fun.. just me, and my memories…
No one to cuddle with, no one to talk to, silence… I turn on some music to play in the background as I lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling..

One thought leads to another, and thus the painful journey begins…
Once again the pain of the past gets the better of me.
From here on out, its can only get worse before it gets better…

The rain is supposed to be here a  couple of days…