More recently, I’ve tried to hide my pain with neglect, and anger.
From the outside looking in, you’d scoff, and tell yourself. “hmph, same ‘ol asshole.” When that’s not the case.
How can you expect someone who you’ve been kicking in the face to keep reaching out to you with open arms?
If I don’t wear this mask, I’m vulnerable. Vulnerable to get hurt a hundred times over. So to harden my self, my heart, my emotions, this is what its come down to. I’ve never given up, and though I wear this mask, this persona, I still hurt inside, and I still want to give you the world, the moon, sun, and the stars. Everywhere I go, everything I do, Its all linked to you. Memories of a not so distant past, reign pain on my present. Everyday life, has turned into everyday strife. But still, the opposed is unwilling to even slip on one shoe to see it from another’s point of view. Still judging, and holding me to a perspective that you see fit. The idea of me that you, and “others” have since engraved into your mind. Hence, I wear the mask.
Hoping that someday soon, you’ll help me take it off.

Being in this situation, I’m very careful of everything I do. everything I say. The rate at which my mind has to process information before I open my mouth to speak seems unreal. This being the new standard of which I’m attempting to hold myself to, bears a heavy burden on my mind.  Cluttered with irrational thoughts, chaotic with explication. I wish there was a way, to simply expunge it all.To lift all this burden and pain.  A way to…

Set My Mind Free…